Saying and doing

Things Zambians say:

They NEVER swear and get really thrown off by hearing swears

A Zambian was reading about an African visiting Canada. The African was surprised that in Canada you can't just walk up to someone and tell them they are fat. He looked at me and said "You can't tell someone they are fat?"
"No"
"….Even if they are?"



I was telling my friend that it's a big insult to tell someone they are fat in Canada. "If you told someone they are fat, they would feel as hurt as if you called them an idiot and would wonder why you were insulting them for no reason"
"Oh really? It's a big insult?"
"Yes"
"Can you be locked up for saying it?"

Wow Ben, you're really getting fat! You're enjoying our country!

How has been your impression of this place, Zambia?

Zambians are incredible at using sayings and expressions and have a large vocabulary, unfortunately I can't think of any right now, but things like "A whole new can of worms"

Us blacks, we get very happy when we see you whites

Zambians, we like dying, we die a lot



What is the recommended body temperature for human beings in Canada?

Are there elephants in Canada?

How did you get to Zambia from Canada? Did you take a bus?

Oh you're from Canada? Where, Montreal, Quebec, Vancouver, Toronto, Saskatchewan? Do you live beside one of the Great Lakes? On the Canadian Shield?

Okay, we are running late as you know (2hours) so in the interest of time we'll just have each of the (7) guests of honour make a short speech before we begin.

Things Zambians do:

They are extremely formal, I am Mr.Ben or Mr. Tembo and Steph is Madam, Madam Stephan, Mrs. Ben. Parties and gatherings are always announced by physical invitation only. Parties have a "head table" and "guests of honour" and each and every guest of honour makes a speech and the dance floor has to be "opened" by a guest of honour.

When someone dies, everyone comes, there are no invitations, and bringing gifts, sleeps on the ground outside the house of the mourner. The sometimes light a fire and stay up all night talking.

WALK…..AND TALK…..SO……SLOWLY……

Hold hands (with the same sex) while walking and talking

Stop and chat with seemingly everyone (capital cities are of course different)

Are often late, or on time if you're using the "African Clock" i.e. no clock



Are incredibly kind to guests and hospitable. They know you're out of your comfort zone so they do everything they can to help you

Women eat separately (and after) men. Men eat inside at the table and women eat outside on a mat on the ground

What you do is very determined by your sex. Women grow peanuts (mostly), wash dishes and clothes, sweep, fetch water and firewood, care for children. Men drink, smoke (not all, but only men and prostitutes drink alcohol and smoke) farm the other crops (but women do join them in the fields to plough, weed, etc) go for trips out of the village. In the city women sell fruit and vegetables at the market, clean streets and are clerks. Men repair bikes and cars, drive taxis, sell things in traffic, push wheelbarrows and run businesses.



Give (and expect and ask for) gifts all the time! When a visitor comes, the visitor gets a gift, when they visit someone they bring a gift, when you go to a funeral you bring a gift, when you go to a party you bring a gift, when you marry a girl you bring her family a gift before discussing the payment for her, when a guy likes a girl he gives her a gift right away, when you leave you leave a remembrance (gift). If you have nothing to give, you give the last thing you have, your food.

Are so sweet and kind, at least to me. Making jokes at someone else's expense isn't very common like at home(but people are people so don't take this point too far)

If you ask directions, people will usually walk with you until you find where you're going

Kids do what they're told!

If a visitor comes within hours of a meal, they will be fed and can stay and eat free without complaint for a month



One thing I can say is that the social safety net is much stronger here. If I was naked and had no money and was dropped off anywhere in the country, I can guarantee I would go to bed inside, wearing clothes and with food in my stomach. Not as likely in Canada.